OMG!OMG!OMG!. i still cant believe it!. we actually won tkss. ahh!. thanks to our supporters and players. yeah!im jut too happy. but let us not get too carried away. still have 3 more games to go. bts,bns and cc. we can beat them! yeah!. i love my netball teammates!. they rock my world. ahh.love them love them love them.
then before theis match, we played against kc. yeah. we won. and we also played a match against bns. wah. hate that coach lah. so damn irritating. its alright. we can prove that we can win them now that we got our team spirit. yeah.! i love my teammates. they just rock my life.AHHH. what would i do without them.haha. anw, hate today. although my bag was light. had a maths test which i forgotton about. and there's also an english test which i didnt know until this morning. thanks jessica. anw, class ended at 1.20. so we waited for like damn long. nth to do. so me and qin wet to fill the coolers. and took the balls from mrs tng's car. qin wanted to test drive the car. haha. too bad she didnt. cause i had the keys. haha.ohohoh. and also rented a locker. sharing w qin. wah. the new lockers are small but new and cost$8. but the old lockers are big but old and cost$5.wth lah. no wonder the old lockers are rented out. duh!. who would want to pay $8 for a small locker?? i'd rather rent a big and old locker.and there's not enought lockers lah. cat u buy more lockers?? or just change the system??haiz.
anw, received 2 bottles of juices that i always wanted. omg. taste damn freakin nice lah. omg.
oh ohoh and today there's a group of badminton ppl said hi to me. who the hell are you lah.haha.should be sec1s lah. no one is that lame to say hi to someone you dont know right??haa. anw, gotta do that stupid relay system. and that wan haven msg me all her members email add. gotta finish it by tml. wah. then tml i cant sleep. got school then after school i got training then after training , it'll be like 6 plus and when i reach home, it'll be like 7. thn i bathe and eat mty dinner.. so it'll be like 8. so.... nvm im tired now and my show starting so shall continue writing the next time i on my com.haha.

momonomomonymous: who are you?? and i have no idea how to link. alrights.
ash: oh okay..
jocleen: yeah. thanks:)
jas: haha. i know.

We drive tonight, and you are by my side.
We're talking about our lives,
Like we've known each other forever and time flies by.
With the sound of your voice, its close to paradise,
with the end surely near
And if I could only stop the car and hold on to you,
and never let go, I'd never let go.

As we round the corner to your house you turn to me and said
I'll be going through withdrawal of you
for this one night we have spent
And I want to speak these words but I guess I'll just bite my tongue
And accept someday somehow, as the words that we'll hang from

And I, I don't wanna speak these words,
cause I, I don't wanna make things any worse
And I, I don't wanna speak these words,
cause I, I don't wanna make things any worse

Why does tonight have to end?
Why don't we hit the start, and pause it at our favorite parts
We'll skip the goodbyes. If I had it my way, I'd turn the car around
And runaway, just you and I.

this week passed very slowly. why? cause i kept thinking of something. something so important. and yet, i dont know what to do about it. well, all i could hope for is for your forgiveness.
i was sick on thursday. cause of some stupid food poisoning. told my mum about it. she said it's because that i cough until my stomach pain. so dont have to see a doctor. when my stomach hurts, i dont know if im hungry or isit pain. during recess, i ate some food. then suddenly my stomach start hurting. on the day when we had a game, i also had a stomache duing recess. i still played in the game. although it hurts. anw, we won. 34 to 10. against kc. katong convent. gonna announce during assembly. must cheer loudly. yeah cause the netballers had won. hope that we'll make it to the second round. come on. we must have faith. and we also have to train harder. no fooling around anymore.
and my sec1 friend told me that most of the sec1s this year wanna join netball cause they knew that the school is gonna cancel netball in 2 years time if we dont win anything. how did they know. im also very curious.
now im starting to hate the school more and more. i think that the school sucks. the stupid system. and so what if netball didnt win anything. doesnt mean that you can cancel the game that we've come to love. if you cancel netball cause we didnt win anything, might as well cancel all the other ccas in the future if they didnt win anything. fucking school. is winning so important? and that stupid system. make us carry our school bags everywhere. did you know that many ppl are shrinking? i know i am. and did they watch the news. it's said that more younger ppl are getting back pain. cant you spare a thought for us? and the teachers. why do they need a staff room when they have a homeroom. dont have enough space?? and some of us have like 5-6 subjects a day. do you know that's a lot of books to bring.which may cause us to have back pain. at least give us a locker. then we dont have to carry so many things everyday. i used to look forward to school. but now. i rather stay at home and bore myself to death than to go to school and carry so many damn books. and one book isnt light. it's heavy. DAMN HEAVY! you teachers can leave your stuff in the staff rooms. then we have to carry everything back home and back to school again. some of us dont leave very near if you know. i think someone have to faint before they can change the system to the old one. and the canteen. dont have enough space. dont have enough chairs. why? cause of the bags. the bags occupy the space. and now do you realise that a lot of ppl aren't using the basketball court. why? no mood. because we have to carry the stupid bag around. and sometimes the first period is at the first level and the next period is at the fourth level. do you know how tiring it is to climb up the stairs. and the teachers blame us for going to class late. they said that we have 5 mins to move but sometimes the teachers release us late and you expect us to run to the next class. w our heavy bags? i rather get scolded than run. and they use this system because they say so that the teachers can start the lesson on time. my shit lah. the teachers still come late for the lesson. when the teachers come late, it's alright. but when the students come late for lesson, we get scolded. i hate this school and the fucking system. i seriously hope it fail. hope that it'll change back by the end of this term. or earlier. i cant take it anymore.

i'll be waiting for the day when you forgive me.

im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.im sorry.

tell me what must i do to get your forgiveness. please. i'll try to do it.please just tell me.all i want is for your forgiveness. just tell me. please. i'll try to do it. just tell me. please forgive me. im sorry. im really am. what must i do?tell me.

life just feels so meaningless nowadays.
i just hope that eveything will just end and go away.
i cant take it anymore.
i stayed with my friends so that i dont have to think about it.
im sorry that i hurt you. im sorry.
i dont want to make this worse.
please forgive me.

what would you say if i asked you not to go
to forget everything, forget eveything and start over with me
would you take my hand and never let me go
promise me you'll never let me go.

and the stars arent out tonight
but neither are we to look up at them
why does hello feel like goodbye?
these memories cant replace
these wishes i wished and these dreams i chase
take this broken heart and make it right

i feel like i lost everything when you're gone
left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
i thought you should know,
you're not making this easy.

i never thought i'd be the one to say
please dont, please dont leave me.

Yeah I wanna feel the sunshine,
shinin' down on me and you
When you put your arms around me,
ya let me know there's
nothin' in the world I can't do

Another day is passing
And still there is no word
On how your life is going
And who is in your world

I pray you will consider
These words I write to you
I liked you in my life
Yet maybe now it's through

I don't want to see
our relationship come to an end
And I don't want to find
our lives standing still

We are moving towards the end
And we really ought to wait
Because God planted something special
Deep within our hearts

I know your life is hectic
You are busy all day through
My life is busy also
But I still think of you

I want to send my love
And remind you of these things
Just so you will know
You mean so much to me

im not a perfect person
there are many things i wish i didnt do
but i continue learning
i never meant to do those things to you
and so i have to say before i go
that i just want you to know

i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you

im sorry that i hurt you
it's something i must live with everyday
and all the pain i put you through
i wish that i could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears
thats why i need you to hear

i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you

im not a perfect person
i never meant to do those things to you
and so i have to say before i go
that i just want you to know

i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you

i've found a reason to show
a side of me you didnt know
a reason for all that i do
and the reason is you

*im sorry for the things i've done to make you hurt and angry. all im asking for is for your forgiveness. please forgive me. im really sorry.i wanna be there for you. but you said that im never there. im sorry. *

lost and then found oh i know you're around,
i cant help bt to look in the clouds,
if i had to guess as to where you would be,
it's looking out on over me,
well i never thought that moment would come
when i'd have to look out my window alone,
now im watching the stars and still hoping to see
the day when you come back to me.

and everything that you thought was fine
has turned its back ino more than time,
when you said to me that it's all alright,
you cant find yourself today.

lost and then found how i live for that day,
some call me crazy for thinking thisway,
my life seems so emty, its rained for a while
your eyes still glow, and i love your smile.

and everything that you thought was fine
has turned its back into more than time,
when you said to me that its all alright,
you cant find yourself today.

and everything that you thought was fine
has turned its back into more than time,
when you said to me that its all alright,
you cant find your own way.

and everything that you thought was fine
has turned its back into more than time,
when you said to me that its all alright
you cant find yourself today

and eveything that you thought was fine
has turned its back into more than time,
when you said to me that its all alright,
you cant find yourself today.

you said that im not always there for you when you need me. i'll never know when you need me if you dont say. im sorry for all the things i've done to make you angry. im really sorry. and im hoping that you'll forgive me. please. i've regret what i've said to make you angry. im sorry. it's not your fault. it's mine. im sorry. i do not wish for you to continue to be angry w me. how i wish that everything will go back to that way it was before. i do not wish to hurt you. im sorry. i want to make it up to you. but i dont know if you are willing.

broken, this fragile thing now
and i cant,i cant pick up the pieces
and i've thrown my words all around
and i cant, i cant get you a reason

i feel so broken up.
and i give up.
i just wanna tell you so you know

here i go,
scream my lungs out.
try to get to you.
you are my only one.
i let go
there's just no one that gets me like you do
you are my only
my only one

made my mistake, let you down.
and i cant , i cant hold on for too long.
ran my whole life in the ground
and i cant, i cant get up when you're gone

and something's breaking up.
i feel like giving up
i wont walk out until you know

here i go
scream my lungs out
try to get to you
you are my only one
i let go
there's just no one that gets me like you do
you are my only,
my only one

here i go,
so disonestly
leave a note
for you my only one
and i know
you can see right through me
so let me go.
and you will find someone.

i hate my sexy voice.
when will it go away?
ahh. i want to recover now.

and yet again im still sick. when will i recover?? please recover faster.i hate being sick. i cant eat fried or oily food. and i must take my medicine. yuck. the taste is so dsgusting lah. and im still not getting use to being a sec3. must study on weekends cause i dont have time on weekdays. sian. and tournaments are starting.OMGosh.im so scared and im still sick. ahh!
and life in school is so fun.haha. always talk about the sec1s that crush weikee. haha. omg!. they wanted to join np. haha. damn funny.and quite scary too. imagine a group of sec1s following you wherever you go. OMGosh!. more like stalking than following.haha.and school sort of sucks when it's during school hours. have to carry so many books. i think the school is crazy. the teachers have a homeroom and a staffroom. wth lah. not enough space isit?at least give us a locker can? our back hurts like hell lah. so mahfan. carry our bags wherever we go. and the canteen dont have enough space and the food is getting boring. i hope the new system fails. haha. i dont really like the new school. so big and moykit always bring me to the wrong block and wrong level. lucky we're not late for classes or you'll die.haha.nah kill you also useless. you're priceless.haha.anw, today's moykit's birthday. dont know what to buy for her. she says she wants anything that is orange in colour. hmm. i was planning to give her an orange. but.. like not good also. seriously dont know what to give her. forget it lah. just give her an orange.haha.i think it's the best birthaday present for her.haha.and im starting to love my class. well at least better than sec1 and 2. hate my class. suck a boring class lah. and they dont do anything. wanted to make a class t shirt since sec1. until now we still dont have. so let's just forget about it. and lots of class outings are not really nice. but the last one was quite alright lah. had bbq. well quite boring also. i just went there to eat. somemore it was after my netball training.haha. FREE FOOD!. well not really free.there's no such thing as a free meal. of course must pay 5 bucks lah. haha.well nothing to add on. so bye. enough your sunday before school starts tml. once it starts, it'll only end on friday. haha.=)

turn on channel 7 at a quarter to eight
you see the same damn thing
its just a different day and
no one really knows why this is happening but its happening

and everywhere you go
its just a different place
you get the same dark feelings
see the same sad faces
no one really cares that this is happening

we come into this world
and we are all the same
and in that moment there's no one to blame

but the world is black
and hearts are cold
and there's no hope
thats what we're told
and we cant go back
it wont be the same
forever changed
by the things we've said, said

living in this place it's always been this way
there's no one doing nothing so there's nothing changed and
i cant live when this world just keep dying, it is dying
people always tell me this is part of the plan
that gods got everybody in his hand
but i could only pray that god is listening is he listening

we're living in this world
growing colder everyday
nothing can stay perfect now i say

but the world is black
and hearts are cold
and there's no hope
that's what we're told
and we cant go back
it wont be the same
forever changed
by the thing we've said, said, said

we come into this world
and we are all the same
and in that moment there's no one to blame
but we're living in this world
growing colder everyday
nothing can stay perfect now i say

the world is black
and hearts are cold
and there's no hope
that's what we're told
and we cant go back
it wont be the same
forever changed
by the things we've said said,said

turn on channel 7 at a quarter to eight
you see the same damn thing
it's just a different day
and no one really knows why this is happeneing.

these few days. i've been broken down again and again by the words you said.every time when i hear something that hurt me, i'll not reply and just either off my phone or sleep to forget everything. i dont want these hurtful memories to be w me. sometimes i wish that we didnt have these conversations.i hate it when you go against my words. it makes me feel stupid and i have nothing left to say. i cant show care and concern. it's obvious. everytime i tried to do it, i seemed to fail.why?cause i always tell you to see a doctor.and that's the only thing i know how to say and nothing else. i tell you to see a doctor, cause im not fit to say what's wrong w you. im not a doctor. i cant do much. now i feel so useless. well, maybe because i am. this is something i want you to know. you're the closest person to me than anyone else and i thank God for letting you into my life. im grateful for eveything he gave me. i loveall my friends, even you. dont think i dont care about you. i do. i just dont say. and i cant really show. im sorry that i've made you angry or sad or even hurt you. im really sorry. sometimes i dont know that i've hurt you by the words i said. and im also sorry if i've made you worry about me when i dont reply. please forgive me. im sorry.=(

someone once said this to me:
"when the sun's gone.
when rain falls.
when time stops.
when tears drop.
when heart's torn.
when scars remain.
will you be there for me?"

the ans is yes. i will.but i cant guarantee that.im sorry.
when you ask me, i didnt know how to ans.i was afraid that i couldnt keep the promise if i said yes. and i didnt want to say no. cause i want to be there for you. that's why it took me quite a while to reply. i dont know when you need me. so just say if you need me. alrights.i cant guarantee that i'll always be there for you.but i'll try my best to.

wah. just finished the relay system. and i haven even bath yet! omgosh! lucky i didnt train today or i'll stink. and im still sick. it's been one week and im still sick. the medicine like not working. damn irritating lah. keep coughing.cough and cough and cough. my chest hurts lah. dam pain. and tournament starts next week. must faster recover.damn tired. and tml still have school. let's see what's the timetable for tml.1 period of SR.PE. break1. 2 periods of chem.2 periods of chinese.free period.2 periods of geog and2nd break. i hate my day. especially monday. i hate mondays.end so late.and tml there's geog. omgosh.well time for me to bath then zzz.smiles:)

its the first sunday of the year.and it's quite boring.and still have holiday hw not done. haiz.well ytd was quite fun except that i've got no voice.(i think that i have a sexy voice.haha)i sound like a man when i talk.haha. my god-bro said that now i sound like a man, and i dress like a man, then the next morning when i wake up, i become a man.haha.and ytd we had 80 plus ppl who signed up for the netball audtion.woah.that's a lot lah.thanks to me. they heard my voice then they want to join netball.haha.and i think that the no.55 person is so damn cute lah.haha.omgosh.haha.anw,after the cca fair,we went heartland and ate our lunch.everywhere was so damn crowded. no place to eat.then we waited for so long and we were super hungry.then we just went to macs to eat. mrs tng was there w some cca fair committee members.poor jamie.haha.
tml there's training.lucky we dont have to run 2.4km.or i might just die.and tml is also the netball adution. i want to help out.but there's training.haiz.then tml class end at 4.10 and training is at 4.15.no time to change lah.so must rush.i hate rushing.cause i'll always forget sth.
anw,right now im watching life made simple.so damn nice lah.i love that show.and ytd my mum asked me which day im coming home early.then i said that i dont know.then she took5 bucks away from me.wth lah.very irritating.i really dont know when im staying back in school and when im not lah.wahliao.anw, im saving money for ppl's birthday.yaye!.:)

ytd countdown w zx jiale bella and lee huang. so few and pathetic lah.anw, had a great time w those ppl. haha.watched movie till 'bout 4 in the morning.watched quite a few shows.cant remember what.guess im too tired to remember. i slept for like 2 hours today. super tired but just cant sleep. and where did i get the energy from? hmm.. maybe it's from the food that i ate. ate super a lot lah. after all of them left, i vomitted.wth! yuck! super disgusting lah.yuck!
and great news! i finished 3 homework! yeah!dont know how many more to go.yeah!and school's gonna start soon. haiz. this year will be a super busy year. im sec3. i dont wanna grow up!. i wanna stay as a kid forever. nah!of course not. otherwise, life would be boring.haha.then now i have to read a book just to do my book review. and i still dont know what to write for my commonwealth essay.life is difficult, man. i tell ya. DIFFICULT!. and the netball competitions are gonna start next mon.OMG! oh and i've got enough allowance now. so i can pay whoever i owe.you know who you are. haha.
anw, gotta continue doing my homework.or else i'll die.haha. happy new year guys!. it's a brand new year.smiles=)