She looks into my eyes, I'm alive again
And when she says goodbye, I just die again
That's when my restlessness begins
Please don't let it win
I'm so tired again
And underneath the haze, one thing still remains the same

She's the only love I've known
And now she's gone away
She's the light that brought me to the edge
Will I ever love again?

So just tell me what I should
I left everything for you
And I can hardly breathe
Because I know I lost you from my world, from my world

She's the only love i've known
And now she'd gone away
She's the light that brought me to the edge
Will i ever love again?

saying i love you
is not the words i want to hear from you
it's not that i want you
not to say but if you only knew
how easy
it would be to show me how you feel
more than words is all you have to do
to make it real
then you wouldnt have to say
that you love me
'cause i'd already know

what would you do if my heart was torn in two
more than words to show you feel that your love for me is real
what would you say if i took these words away?
then you couldnt make things new
just by saying i love you

now that i've tried to
talk to you and make you understand
all that you have to do is
close your eyes and just reach out your hand
and touch me
hold me close dont ever let me go
more than words
is all i ever needed you to show
then you wouldnt have to say
that you love me
cause i'd already know

YES! i've got a new plan for my phone. now my phone bill wont explode. haha.. anw, meet someone online, dont know who the hell the person is. ask weird questions like are you straight? stead w a girl before? omg. okay.then also said that she wanted to make friends w me. okay. that's weird. dont even know how she got my email add. that's freaky!. anw, today studied like hell. mum made me study and study. IM NOT A MACHINE! i cant take it anymore. wah. now my brain has too many info. then i haven study my chem yet. wah. im prepared to fail. and speaking of failing, im gonna fail my social studies, my geog, er my a maths i guess. dont even know how to do lah. think that e maths was easy.but.. my a maths.and my mum said that she's gonna disown me if i fail my maths. wth lah. then fiona and jamie kept repeating that to me.to fiona and jamie: very funny hor. anw, this week is passing quite fast, cause of the cny.haha. and mon is the last test. then can relax a bit.
and my father came home from singapore on wed.yaye. and guess what? he bought a lot of goodies and a bag of dvds home. omg!. so many things lah. and today's jocleen's birthday too!
happy birthday jocleen!
anw, today's a boring day. study and study and study. so now im gonna enjoy myself. gonna watch NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM. that show is damn funny lah.haha.well, now it's time for me to laught like hell.haha

yaye. i've learnt how to play the guitar. well, i dont play very well. at least i know how to play one song- tiger lily. actually wanted to learnt how to play promise. but i dont know how. i dont even know the strumming part. sad lah. but at least i know tiger lily. :)
well, today went to grandma's house just because my mum wants to play mah jiong.wahliao. play mahjiong pull us along. cant you leave us at home. haiya. didnt study today. except for maths. and i have lit tml. im so dead. i dont even know what the book is all about. damn!. someone needa explain it to me. im too lazy to read. haiz. and after that is s.s and geo. and im gonna fail this term for geog, lit s.s, chi, science. but not maths and eng. i didnt even remembered that i studied geog, lit, s.s, or chi. at least i manage to study science. im so dead lah. and for the quiz online.. haiz. CONFIRM FAIL!. i didnt even do it. im dead! someone, tell me im dead!. the stupid com lah. i cant even click on the academic portal. but when i went to my friend's house, i can click on it. wth. i thought i was saved BUT,.. i cant log in. damn sad lah. my friend can log in but why cant i? i purposely ran to her house just to do that stupid quiz. wth. only waste my energy. why cant he give the quiz on hard copy. idiot thomas. haiz.
anw, my dad's coming back to singapore tml!yaye. but why must he come back at night? i must study lah. stupid school w the stupid system w/out enough stupid lockers. wah. if i could go to anw school when i was in p6, i would go to ijtp. NETBALL IS NO1 IN THE WHOLE OF SINGAPORE. and the school u is so much better lah. not like ours. like shit arh. why does it have to be sewed on? we look wide and ugly in it. and the higher the belt, the uglier it gets. if wanna have sewed on uniforms, why dont they sew the back parts only? in this way, we wont look so WIDE and UGLY. YUCK!.ugly uniforms. and at least the belts on the uniforms dont look so FAKE!haiz. dont wanna complain anymore or else i wont get to sleep. haiz. must a parent complain then they'll change the system?

i'll always remember
it was late afternoon
it lasted forever
and ended so soon
you were all by yourself
staring up at a dark grey sky
i was changed

in places no one would find
all you feelings so deep inside
it was there that i realised
that forever was in you eyes
the moment i saw you cry

it was late in september
and i've seen you before
you were always the cold one
but i was never that sure
staring up at a dark grey sky
i was changed

in places no one would find
all you feelings so deep inside
it was there that i realised
that forever was in you eyes
the moment i saw you cry

i wanted to hold you
i wanted to make it go away
i wanted to know you
i wanted to make you everything
all right

everytime when i start to daydream, i'll think of you.
and everytime when i think of you, somehow i would cry.
maybe i just miss you a lot.
you're so important to me.
and i love you a lot.
sometimes i wish that you were here by my side.
always there, holding me.
never letting me go.
i wanna lie under the stars with you.
and to be in your arms.
i love you so much.

i feel like i've lost everything when you're gone.
left remembering what it's like to have you here with me.

ohya. and i forgotton to mention my da jie driving. woah. it was terrible man- well, for yesterday. today was much better. ytd, she was super scared when she drove out of the house. drove super damn slow lah. can be compared w my walking speed lah.haha. and she doesnt know how to park. lucky my uncle was there to help. that was when we went to my grandma's house. then later, we went to my ahma's house. it was alright lah. just that she drove pass more than 2 red lights. haha. and my mum was sitting at the back sit and kept talking when my da jie told us to shut up or else she cant concentrate. then when we wanted to go hm, my da jie cant remember the way home. the worst thing was that my er jie and her bf told her different directions. then my da jie dont know who to listen to and where to go. lucky there's ME! haha. i helped her lo. haha. then when we reached home, my da jie needed to park the car. oh no!. haha. my er jie bf help her lah. although he dont know how to drive. he just help her by giving instructions. YES! it was a success!. no one got hurt and the car is back in place. no damage to the car either. haha.
then today.. hmm.. my da jie had more confidence. the ride was smoother than ytd.haha.but when we went home and wanted to park the car again.. woah.. it was bad. the car kept jerking. wahliao. dont know how to park lah. lucky her church friend was there to help.
and now they are all playing mahjiong. wth. very sian to hear those words arh. almost everyday i can hear " pong!", "zi mo"... wahliao. they're not sian playing but i feel damn sian hearing those words arh.
well, anw, my da jie's driving quite good lah. that's why she can pass mah.haha.she passed for at least 1 year and she only started driving this month. wth. the only part that i hated was when she was stopping at the traffic light. not smooth. but now, since she have more confidence driving, she can send me to school yaye! dont need to wake up so early just to go to school. but she said that she's lazy and she dont dare to drive when there's a lot of cars. wahliao. i thought i can take the car so dont have to wake up so early.my feelings kana cheated.haha.
anw, just now i was watching spongebob. omgosh!. so damn freaking retarted lah.haha.cant stop laughing.
oh and ytd when i played cards, i won 90 cents. super happy man! haha. ya i know. you may think it's only 90 cents. thats what my er jie said. but i won. feel happy for me.haha.:)and today i won 60 cents. haha. im just being retarted. only 60 cents want to announce to the whole world. haha. so all tgh, i won $1.50. yaye. can buy 15 fishballs. haha.

today's the 2nd day of cny. and right now im at my ahma house. cool right? haha. well anw, ytd.. sort of boring.. went to my grandma's house, then my ahma's house.like the usual- played cards, collect angbao, eat of course. today?.. did almost the same thing like ytd. oh and ytd went out after i went home from ahma's house. went to town. and ytd was also carin's birthday.
happy birthday
carin!.
ya and went home late.haha.had fun ytd lah.
hmm. what else.
oh. jocleen- i found your blog but i still have no idea what you want for your birthday. did you even blog to say what you want?? haha.
and to you-know-who- please look at the words " i think". cause i really dont know.i just had this feeling after.... i had this feeling even before you... ya. and im sorry if i surprised you. sorry. and i hope that no one will know lah.alrights? sorry!:(

haiz.after the cny, it'll be the common test. wah stress arh. can die lah. wth is the school thinking lah. common test right after cny. what if we fall sick huh!? and dont have enough time to study. all the competitions..haiz. lucky it's over for now. we're joining another competition. it's the school challenge league. wah. and we're combining w the sec2s.
haiz. i miss the b div team. anw, jia you for your o levels this year.yeah?

i hate my life. why is it so sucky. why cant it be easy. why does it have to be this way. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT.

ytd- nth to say. only reason- slept the whole day.. until today 9 plus. slept for like 19 hours. broke my record of sleeping for 12 hours. and im still sick. had flu since dont know when. and it's so damn irritating. and now im having cough. what next? fever? haiz.
for this term, i dont even remembered that i've studied. and ytd, when i came back home, my mum said that she will talk to my netball teacher and make me quit netball, since i dont have the time to study. wth lah. not as if i dont want to study. and i dont think my mum believes me. she rather believe her STUDENT( who is in my class) than to believe me. and now im not suppose to go out. she said that i've been going out too much and have been coming home late too many times, and i have to stay home to study. my life sucks lah. sometimes i wish that i could end it now.

today's zhixian's birthday. yaye.
happy birthday zhixian!
love me!<3
played against east spring. and i cant believe that we lost. thought that we could beat them. anw, no point saying all these anymore. it's over. GREAT PLAY EVERYONE!. then we're gonna join the SCL. hope that we'll win again this time. and today's the last game that the sec4s and 5s are playing. sad lah. cant get to play w them anymore. and we'll be joining the sec2s soon. haiz. and trainings are gonna be tough again. oh i hate running 2.4km. super damn tiring. but it'll improve on our stamina and speed. oh well. today's valentine too. didnt get any flowers. but lots and lots of sweets. and cards. and received a box of chocolate from evan's dad. i think he's nice.haha. THANKS EVAN'S DAD. anw, time for me to have some rest after celebrating zhixian's birthday and playing a game w east spring. and i cant log into my academic portal.wth.im gonna fail my physics test. stupid computer. i cant even click on the academic portal. hope that he'll give us until tml. and im sick. IM SICK PPL!. OMG!. stupid flu. and now im having cough.im so sick. lucky no more games or trainings or im gonna die. and my stomach hurts. did too many sit ups. it hurts when i laugh. now it hurts when i cough.my nose is so red. wah. claris, please recover soon. i hate me being sick. so irritating. cant do or eat lots of things.

i hate you! get away from me! i dont want to ever hear your stupid voice again. it's so irritating. i just hope that you'll shut the fuck up!.

leave a message on your phone
just to find out you're not home
keeping up with you is something i could never do
and i know something's wrong
cause you've been gone too long
a fucking waste of my time is all that you've become

if i can't be the guy that you've always wanted me to be
if i can't say the words that you always wanted me to say
if i fall in the end, will you be holding on to me?
because you, you said you'd never leave me

the choice is up to you
to find out what to do
to let it go or keep kicking me to the side
i'm getting tired of your shit
and i can't deal with it
i gave up giving in, and now it's time to say goodbye

if i can't be the guy that you've always wanted me to be
if i can't say the words that you always wanted me to say
if i fall in the end, will you be holding on to me?
because you, you said you'd never leave me

with me, stay with me...

if i can't be the guy that you've always wanted me to be
if i can't say the words that you always wanted me to say
if i fall in the end, will you be holding on to me?
because you, you said you'd never leave
you, you said you'd never leave
you, you said you'd never leave me

speak to me
tell me something so typical
a lullaby or something miserable
that will keep me up at night

cross out my eyes
i know you planned it
you know i love you
and i can't stand it
we just lost control
(we just lost control)

lie to me
give me something worth living for
tell me a reason worth fighting for
give me anything, anything to keep me breathing
lie to me
give me something worth living for
tell me a reason worth fighting for
give me anything, anything to keep me breathing

go lie to me
tell me stories so beautiful
an epic of something so terrible
that it makes me weep
cross out these days
on your calendar
it hurts me so much
and im not quite sure
i care anymore
(i care anymore)

lie to me
give me something worth living for
tell me a reason worth fighting for
give me anything, anything to keep me breathing
lie to megive me something worth living for
tell me a reason worth dying for
give me anything, anything to keep me breathing
anything to keep me breathing

liz-yaye i know!haha.
anonymous-ya lor. dont be so bad can
penelope-hello!
momo- i knew that.haha.

today is saturday. and it's such a boring day. anw, we won bts and cc. we're playing against bns on mon.omg.hope that we can go to the second round. but netball is taking too much of my time. haiz. not ime to study. have to stay up late and do hw. haiz. now the only days i love are saturday and sunday. can sleep like a pig.haha.
ya. and sup came ytd. wahliao. i was really hoping that she wouldnt come lah.right now im damn super sad lah.no mood to do anything.no mood at all.haiz. why must she come? i dont want to think about it.
and life sucks.idont know why but it just sucks lah. except for my netball life.and now my e maths teacher is so damn boring. i almost slept in class lah. this is first time i alsmost slep during maths class. lucky my a maths teacher isnt that boring. or else i'll die.thank god i have my mum to teach me maths too. or else my maths will fail. then social studies. haiz. the most boring class. her voice is so monotone. and i cant absorb anything in her class. then for science. wah. can fail too. for chinese, geog, lit??yup i think i'll fail those too. haiz. im such a failure. no time to study and everything is so complicated and difficult.
and sometimes i wish you didnt say those words. i think there's no need for you to say those things. and everytime i hear these words, i wish that i wasnt there to hear it. and i tried so hard so make things better. and im sorry. for everything that i've done to hurt you.for everything i've done to make you angry. i dont want to break your heart anymore.but sometimes when you said that i broke your heart, i dont even know what i did wrong.
anw, went to cold storage today. and i bought a drink. icafe(mocha flavour) omg taste damn super nice lah. wah.then right now i feel like eating mocha icecream. ahhh!..

and i, i dont wanna speak these words.
cause i, i dont wanna make things any worse.
and i, i dont wanna speak these words.
cause i, i dont wanna make things any worse.