Recently I've been,
Hopelessly reaching
Out for this girl,
Who's out of this world
believe me.
She's got a boyfriend,
He drives her round the bend
Coz he's 23
He's in the marines
He'd kill me

So many nights now,
I find myself thinking about her now

Coz obviously she's out of my league,
How can I win she keeps dragging me in,
And I know,
I never will be good enough for her,
No no
Never will be good enough for her.

really. i'll never be good enough.(:

alrights. didnt go to school today. woke up in th morning and my stomach felt painful and i just felt like vomitting. bleah. went to the doc. gave me 2 days mc. doubt i'll go to school tml. i think i miss quite a lot today. all the fun and lessons. and i realised that im damn tired. i dont have enough rests. and im kinda weak. i dont eat enough. alrights. enough enough. haha. alrights. hope that i'll get well soon lah.

i feel damn irritated by what you said. i already hate it. and you still have to rub it in.

but..

Would you look at her
She looks at me
Shes got me thinking about her constantly
But she dont know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if shes figured out
Im crazy for this girl

Right now
Face to face
All my fears
Pushed aside
And right now
Im ready to spend the rest of my life
With you

seriously.(:

Labels: just a dream, what is real

Labels: the value of a friend.

'what doesnt kill you makes you stronger.' got it from someone iltm. (:

alrights. ytd was a relaxing day for me. didnt get to finish my homework. not even one. haha(: alrights. and ytd channel 5 was showing dreamcatcher at 10pm. i think it's a nice and interesting show. thought it would be scary, but it wasnt. thank god. or else i'll be having nightmares. haha. alrights. tml have school again. and also have training. hope that it will not rain, nor will it be too hot. haha(: anw, there's a lot of nice shows this week. and i cant watch. reason being- i need to study and have my beauty sleep. haha(: hope that my father will buy the dvds, or bought it already. haha(:

common tests are coming soon. haiz. and sec3 was suppose to be a slacking year. well, only for the first two terms. and next year i bet we wont have a lot of time anymore. but if we manage to balance our study time and our play time, i think we still can have fun yeah? i think time passes too quickly. and everytime it's the start of the week, i just wish it would pass quickly. when it's friday, i just thank god for it. im really really tired. i just need my rest. and we'll only be having our long break after o levels. kill me now.

i wanna slow down time. and go back to when she was there.

thank god i found you. im lost without you.

Labels: life is unpredictable

now i see the truth.

alrights. this week im kinda slack. dont bother to do homework. quite difficult to listen in class with boring teachers around. and i've been sleeping for more than 10 hours a day. alrights. it's gonna stop. i bet i will fail my amaths test. i dont know what the hell they want me to find lo. haiz. anw,my e maths teacher is teaching us damn fast lah. i might as well learn myself. when she turn to the next page, she didnt even tell us lah. wth?!. anw, training ytd was kinda slack too. keep talking. and the ground is seriously damn wet can. i almost fell twice. didnt really dare to run. oh and we played with the teachers. haha. i tihnk ms liang is damn cute. haha. and it's damn funny when zx played gk and ms liang played gs. [just think of the height difference. haha]

alrights. it rained today again. i hope that pea and gang enjoyed themselves at sentosa suntanning. haha. thank god i didnt go. haha. anw, i have no money and was suppose to run. too bad i woke up late and forgot that im suppose to run. hah!. besides it's rained. so wth am i suppose to do? haha.

alrights. have tons homework to complete. and i think that next week is gonna be a super busy week.

Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day, is as if I play apart
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I can not fool
My heart

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

I am now
In a world where I have to
Hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that i'm
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

There's a heart that must
Be free to fly
That burns with a need
To know the reason why

Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that i'm
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflections show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflections show
Who I am inside?

Labels: you dont know me.

?><":} - if you knew everything, then why do you ask anw? and i dont think life is any better. it's been a shit life for me. sorry? i dont even know who you are.

ytd's training was great. though it was tiring, it was the best feeling i ever had during training. and it was the first time that i trained until i felt so hungry. haha. alrights. anw, ytd right after training, i just went home and sleep. that's how tired i am. and today, i went home quite early and i went home to sleep again. wth? oh well, i need the energy to study yeah?. anw, dont really have the mood to study now. i just wanna sleep. i think im cursed by a sleeping potion. hah!.

why do i put up with you?

Labels: I dont wanna run away anymore.

got this from wei kee.

name ten facts or weird habits about yourself.

one: i love maths

two: i love you know who for damn freaking long

three: i listen to the same songs in my mp3 cause i dont have any new songs to add. haha [ so my songs are kinda old to some of you haha]

four: i dont like to go home, though my house is damn near my school.(:

five: i love almost everything in spotlight [but too bad i cant buy them cause im seriously broke]

six: im addicted to instant noodles.

seven: i failed history in sec2 throughout the whole year.

eight: im always broke

nine: i always wake up before my alarm goes off. [damn irritating. haha(:]

ten: i like to eat peanuts in can.

okay. haha. kinda fun doing this kind of thing. haha. alrights. tml have school. sianz. i seriously need a break now!. wont be having any break until end of year exam. and i miss training now. alrights. and my dinner was bleah. suppose to eat kfc. in the end dont know eat what shit lah. full like hell.or maybe i cant eat. arh hack lah. im fat now and all i need now is training. (:
alrights time to absorb some maths now. alrights. anw, does anyone have the song over it by.. i dont know who. haha. alrights. haha. if you just have it please send me yeah? haha.(:

Labels: i'll be there welcoming you to stay.

i know you'll never forgive me now. so i guess that whatever i do will be useless yeah. it's means i'll be wasting my time. even if you do forgive, you'll still rank up the past. i just cant stand it. ever heard of the phrase :forgive and forget. well, im sure you didnt forgive and forget [or maybe you dont know the meaning of it], even thought you said that you did. cause you like to rank up the past, making me feel guilty. guess you like to do that huh? i just find it so annoying. so you should know the reason why i said that to you. you never change. im sorry.

dont bother to know what i wrote there. unless you've got the time to do so.

just fustrated, angry, annoyed, everything that does not relate to the word happy.):

Labels: you know nothing.

life is beautiful.

gloria .gloria. gloria. gloria. gloria. gloria. gloria. gloria. gloria. gloria. gloria. gloria. gloria. gloria. gloria. gloria.
gloria- see i typed your name so many times lo. be glad!(:

alrights. let's all ignore the anonymous person. (:

alrights. how's my day. kinda wasted it.
early in the morning, went to yishun to meet eliz church[ cause im playing for her church ] alrights. before that, i was suppose to meet chong at bishan at 7.00 SHARP!. you should know why i put the "sharp" in caps. because, as usual, she's late. wth!? haha. alrights. went somehere to register, then guess what?. our game is at 2.45pm. wth!? so we have to wait from morning 8 plus to 2.45pm. so that's how i wasted my day. but instead, we kinda did some bonding things. haha. kinda lame(: alrights. i think eliz sisters are damn cute! [though they are older and suppose to be more mature. hah!] then at 2.45, played. lost. erm. got 4th i think. oh and there's this guy who is so damn irritating. wanted to bash him lah. keep cornering us. [keep your hands to yourself, will ya!?] wth!? alrights. oh and we lost to qy's church. went home at 6pm. took very long to go home. reached home 7 plus. my mum wasnt happy. [as what she told me in the msg. haha] alrights. tired. hungry. broke. but still GREAT! that's how i ended my day. (:
cheers.

alrights. bet tml gonna be a great day for studying, eh?

it's more than what you think.

i saw a someone who looks like LS. omg!. that person made my day!

how can i love you when you dont wanna talk to me babe?

Labels: im satisfied.

somehow i just miss you so. but maybe im just lying to myself? arh! hack lah. dont wanna think about it. it's so annoying.

hah!. training today was the best, though i was kinda sick.[bleah] dont know what the hell happened to me. think that my asthma is back. sian.. and during training, i was sort of crying. tried to hide. but gloria saw that. dont know why i cried either. she said it's a sign of depression. [okay. so that's kinda bad] alrights then. haha. maybe i just needed to cry that's all. (: hah!. alrights. day in school today was kinda fine lah. chinese is boring. learning nothing as usual. hah!. then it was chem quiz. quite easy. but there was one question that was quite tricky. wth. and i got i wrong!. ahh!. anw, mr ong is leaving. sad lah. now we're having mr thomson. kill me now. he's damn freaking boring, though he can be retarded at times. telling us "jokes" haha. wth!? anw, i miss ms oh. now we're having that naggy wgl. no wonder she has so many rinkles. haha. alrights i think that im super mean. doubt they would read this any soon. hah!. alrights. omg. and geog was the worse. e maths uesd to be worse, but now geog is. my gosh. i still think that she sucks. no one can change my mind about it!!. kmc didnt come today. so all we did was 2 maths papers and just hand in when the period ends. wth is rational? okay. heh!(:

oh and the damn cage is jammed. thanks to the damn lock. alrights. actually the juniors told me during school hours, but i thought that they meant that they couldnt lock the cage, so i couldnt really be bothered. but didnt expect that it would be jammed in a way that we COULDNT OPEN IT!!. who was the one who locked it in the first place huh? well, anw, got it opened. got a new lock that requires a key. okay so anyone who wanna open the cage, look for me first!. started training late, but cs wasnt angry. yaye!. thank God!(:heh.

why cant i just stop thinking about you. maybe it's something about you that makes me really wonder.:( im trying my best to look at the other side of you. what's going on your mind? i wanna know.

i will never know how it feels to stand beside and take your hand when i need some direction.
and i will never know what it's like to see you smiling at me or know you'd be proud of me.

oh btw gloria, please, please, please send me that song!:)

gloria- like you requested. i put your name in yellow(:

Labels: what's wrong now?

i miss Gloria now!.

do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away.

haha. alrights. kinda random. heh!:) alrights. today kinda boring. especially geog. that teacher sucks can!. anw, i think that ms oh is damn funny.haha. after tuitoring, went to teach A math. gosh. hate number patterns. dont know how to explain. haha. alrights. then ms oh came to teach zena[ meant to spell like that:) ] a maths.haha. then later craped a lot. haha. ms oh is damn funny!!. haha. thought she's damn fierce, but she's not. haha. so sad that she's not gonna teach the next lesson. :( haha. anw, tml's training. haiz. alrights. shall not alk about it. and my next appointment will be on the 6 of aug. that's like damn freaking long. alrights. and i think there will be training on that day. guess i have to miss it huh?

gonna have a good day.:]

Labels: do you know..

Baby I love you and i'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erase
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erase
And i promise you that you will never be replaced

I love you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until the end of time
From the day I met you
I know we've be together
And now I know I wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you and i wanna have your kids
Thinking never compare to feel enough to kisses
I can say i'm truly happy to the same
You've made me think I'll die and live my life hesitate
There's never been no doubt in my mind
That i'll regret ever having you by my side
But if the day come that i'll have to let you go
I think that something I should probadly let you know
With everything that i spent with you
Then i will miss you cuz i'm happy that i have you at all

I feel for you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until the end of time

i guess i'll never be able to see you again.
but im just glad i've met you.

Labels: speak.

tag replies:
jocleen:huh? what are you talking about? what 1 win 1 lose??
gloria: miss ya too. haha:) love ya!
leehuang:okay lo. i expected that it will be naomi. haha
pea: omg you're dead. haha.
gloria: haha. i guess you called already? haha.
qinyi: hey:) you ugly! heh!:)
zenia: shut up lah. you looked weird can. haha can see you know what. haha.

i'd rather die now than to live a thousand years without knowing you.

alrights. days are becoming.. i dont know. worse? or better? oh forget it. and i ate a pig's heart ytd. my gosh. it's damn disgusting lah. still have the blood vessel stuck to it. bleah.

I never thought that moment would come
when I'd have to look out my window alone,
now I'm watching the stars and still hoping to see
the day when you will come back to me

alrights. ytd was suppose to go to physio. but changed the appointment cause of netball. [ and it was a last min thing. and my mum was angry w me:( ] alrights. so it was changed to today. but had dental at primary school. took me 1 hour. and i was late for my physio. by the time i reached geylang, it was closed. wth. and i have to make another appointment again. haiz. bet my ankle wont heal quickly huh? [ i just hate the stupid feeling can. my ankle feels so uncomfortable. sometimes it just hurts so much. sometimes it doesnt. ]

alrights. skipped pe today. no mood and besides, my ankle hurts a bit. and i was damn freaking tired and i hate volley ball. i hate the blue blacks on my arm. look as if i've got some kind of disease. wth. oh and whenever we do the "pumping position" thingy during netball training, my elbow will have all the dots that makes it look like i've got some skin disease. haha. alrights. and ytd was my worse performace for netball. what's wrong with me? maybe it was the stupid sun [ eliz should have come and put her sunblock.. you get what i mean yeah? haha] alrights. guess i wasnt really ready for training. something was on my freaking mind. please forget it!.

alrights. then today.. kinda boring. and my timetable was sort of wrong. i didnt print out the even week. so i didnt bring my books for even week. the other time it was my e maths book. today it's my chem book. wth. cant the school print it for us? what's the difference? we'll still use paper right.

alrights. anw, monday was suppose to be fun. turned out to be a freaking hot day and i looked weird especially with my pants dropping almost all the time. haha. damn difficult walking in those slippers. but anw, thanks gloria for lending me those slippers. love ya. haha. then after that went to amk to watch harry potter. wasnt that good if you asked. haha. alrights. so dont watch it lah. only waste your money. but if you really wanna watch it, wait and come to my house a few weeks or months later. or you can wait till it comes out on channel 5. haha:]

oh and those of you who heard the message(girl) ringtone, it's damn funny right? haha. anw, i thought i was the last to know that ringtone. but who knows that you guys knew it later than me. haha:] smiles. haha.

anw, playing for eliz church this saturday haha. chongy will be there and guess who we're playing against.. it's qinyi's church. omg. haha. anw, im gonna wake up so damn early just for the game. eliz. you better thank me!. haha.

alrights. this seems to be one of my longest post. haha. anw, gonna do the stupid pw thingy again. i think it's stupid lah. wth. not as if we're gonna really have a funfair that will be planned by us lah. use your brains can!. and cant you see that we're not that interested. alrights.

You can take it all away
I don't need it
Underneath, i'll still be the same

anw im in love with another song. haha now you wont hear me singing the "baby i dont love you no more" song. haha. actually the title of that song is "sorry (i dont love you no more)"
haha.:]
alrights. have a nice day. hope that tomorrow will be better.:]

Lost and then found how I live for that day,
some call me crazy for thinking this way,
my life seems so empty, its rained for a while
Your eyes still glow, How I love your smile

days are getting worse.

ytd's training was fine. as usual. we always do the same thing. ankle hurts again. got my physio appointment. and it's on tuesday. and that is my next training. how? should i go to physio or training? i really dont know. [someone tell me] alrights. and nothing much in school lah. same thing. i hate fridays the most now. timetable sucks. 4 periods of a and e maths straight. and we're learning trigo. omg! that's 4 periods learning trigo lah. thank god it's not on thursday. if not after school, i'll still have to do maths.[tutoring.wth!?] anw, i think that lit is getting more and more interesting but geog? still not very interested. i hate vegetation. i only love the physical part. alrights. and im gonna wear some ethnic costume. omg. feel so excited yet.. dont know lah. haha. alrights and today. i practically did nothing except eat and watched tv. haha. alrights. gotta go study again. [ sian] happy doing whatever ya'll are doing now.
that's all folks!:]

and you were gonna be my queen and im was gonna be your king.

Labels: just remember.

im better than what you think.

today's training was alright. and suddenly my ankle felt pain again. wth! stopped and rest. then later jocleen and jiale fell. haha. opps. i guess i shouldnt be laughing huh? haha. ohwell.. anw, before training started, blank rolled her eyes at me. wth! go and die lah. unhappy, then go away. ignore me, i dont care. dont have to do that to me. you'll only waste your energy rolling your eyes. moron!. hah!. alrights. committee of the netball team is out.
b'div
cap-zx
vice cap-jas and qy
equipments-me
admin-jiale
welfare-gloria
treasurer-eliz
sec3 rap- jocleen
c'div
cap-naomi [unexpected]
vice cap-rachel leong

alrights. now i think that the world's unfair. ohwell it has always been. im just living my life my way. alrights. anw, did this stupid arguement thingy for geog. wth! lost by a few votes. and the teacher sucks. wth. thinks she's the boss. no!.
it's time to change the beast.
anw, life's like that. nothing is fair. we're just doing what people tells us to do.
alrights. my dreams are gone.

*gone, like yesterday is gone. like history is gone. the world keeps spinning on. you're going, going gone. like summer break is gone. like saturday is gone. just try to prove me wron. you pretend you're immortal.*

fullstop

Labels: confidence shall be added.

dont tell me what to do.

alrights. day is fine. brought guit to school. suppose to play for cell in the end, qy is the one playing it. -.-' okay suppose to run today. but the mood was gone. oh well.. :] haha. anw, monday didnt have training, but ran 12 rounds around the 3rd lane:] yaye. jumped steps. tired. tuesday. shooting with gloria. okay. then today. chapel. sort of boring. no one was high. alrights. nvm.

*i need to stand up
just a stupid mistake

im being lazy. someone stop me. i needa study. someone remind me. i need to exercise. someone run with me. i gotta stop. someone seriously stop me. im going down. someone talk to me. im too high. someone join me.
kinda random. but i dont care. :]

i dont understand you.:(

and tml's training. and the day after that. training again. wah. sian arh. i need to go physio. i need it! anw, i dont really like pe now. i'd rather play ball that requires passing. rather than hitting it with your arm. damn freaking painful. it seriously looks like i've got some kind of disease. my gosh!and my ankle isnt alright. so is my damn finger.

it can happen to anyone.

Labels: i can do anything.

the greatest fall of all time.

ytd was chinny's birthday. finally she's 15. great job!. haha had a great time with them and was dead beat by the time i reached home. and im super broke. alrights. i didnt study today. didnt have the mood to do so. alrights. so i watch some tv and eat and here i am. i dont know why, but i just cant really eat much these days. weird, huh? oh that's good news and bad news. good news- i dont have to spend a lot of money on food. bad news- you should know. alrights. and i have to go running. im fat!. gotta lose some pounds. thank god that im going running tml w qy hah!:] and apparently, im not going out this wed cause SOMEONE cant go.which means im free!. anyone wanna go out with me? talk? eat? whatever.

and im gonna change!. [well hope it's for the better] i shall not be emo anymore. i mean.. what's the point? only makes you more depressed. haiz. sad life. alrights. [kinda random. haha. but it's my blog.]

i just dont love you no more.:]
i love this song. haha. thanks paddy!:] and that's not the title of the song. haha. it's just a sentence that i only know from the song. haha:]

anw, im feeling down again. hate it so much. must occupy myself with work!

and once again. i miss you oh so much.
tell me, of all people, why does it have to be you.

red-negative
green- positive

Labels: and it's all because of you.

this is stupid. seriously.

and once again it's a friday..
so that means tml is saturday!yaye. needa have a break. but it also means that i've got homework to complete. alrights. and i've done my maths [it's called the common sence subject.haha.. no offence xD.]

ytd- i sprained my ankle. thank god it's better now. yaye!. but still have some difficulty going down the stairs. :)anw, trainings are good!. today went to see mrs tng about some stuff, went to watch THE TRANSFORMERS. omg. it's damn nice[ go watch if you havent] haha. love THEM! alrights. went home with zx and reached home around 8.[ that's late.] i planned to have maths tuition this afternoon, but i guess we need to spent time with each other yeah? haha. and have some break too lah. haha. imagine the whole world studying. woah!. i'll just die. and im actually quite proud of myself that i manage to keep my table neat and tidy until now! hooray!. and im gonna keep it that way! haha. alrights.

tml's chinny chin chin's birthday! dont know if i can go. went out today and going out tml morning to do the chinese project. [ gosh, i can hardly read!] anw.. happy birthday chinny chin chin in advance!. just about one more hour to chin's birthday,but i cant wait. [ i know zx will haha] must have my beauty sleep. haha:)

alrights. im happy and that's all!goodnites!xD.

whatever i've done.

Labels: just a simple one.

just a simple one.

training's alright. something disturbing is on my mind now. shallnt say about it.
anw, today i just felt bad. and school's kinda weak. had a shock during chinese. zx should know cause that girl is in her class. almost sprain my ankle again, and it's the one that is badly injured. gosh. gonna have a busy week this week. and i realised that when i dont go out, i can seriously save a lot of money. xD
i just feel so down right at this moment. :(
i love studying:)

cant you see all those beautiful things around you?

guess i was wrong huh?
cause i seem to miss you.but i guess you wont forgive me. im sorry.no point trying, i guess.

Labels: now it's gone.

just a couple of good intention.

i've got the mood to study. yaye. only reason? my table looks so neat. yaye. gonna study later. haha.

alrighty. today went to jessica's house. did the english project.. well half way. gonna finish it tml. and i have a strong feeling that we're gonna die. and im proud of OUR geog model. haha. yaye. it looks so nice!. alrights. went to meet pea and vivien. played bb with some unknown people. haha. alrights. that's all. and i just remembered that i need to do a book review. im so dead. alrights. xD.

wanted to go swimming with da group, but needa do THAT english project. i missed the fun!. =(
sad.

gotta stop eating junk food and drinking gassy drinks.
needa lose some weight. im FAT.! [ ohwell, that's my name, except that i've changed it to superfats]

barely even friends,
then somebody bends
unexpectedly.

Labels: im lovin' it

i've learnt something from weikee yesterday.

charmaine!. i want pics from the chalet and walk-a-jog.

Labels: she said he said live like no tomorrow.

it feels like saturday today.cause there's no school tml! youth day! yaye xD

spend the whole of yesterday with my classmates. haha. that's a first. =) morning went to moykit's house to do the geog project. [ i think the model is great now!] lunch- moykit's mum paid for us and we ate macs plus pizza hut!. was super full. later played mini mahjiong. haha. unexpected that pea could play. haha. went home after that to change. met pea later again with moy kit and jessica. went to jessica's house to dress her up. see the way she dress then you'll know. haha. and she needs new clothing plus new shoes!. after that went to hlm to buy flower for fiona.[ be glad!] met jamie in school, went to see the gu zheng concert. it's great. love the solo part!. ended at 9.30 went to macs and eat. im so broke!. i needa save money!.

then today went to ikea with my family. wanted to eat there, but it was super crowded. so we went to walk around. my dad wanted to buy new funitures for me and my sis. our room seriously have no space and the funiture are seriously old. [i dont wanna sleep on the floor any more!. ] SUDDENLY, i heard someone calling me!. guess who. it's gloria and bella. haha. they went to ikea too. haha. [morons.. but i still love ya xD] went to courts and eat. then walked around. then bella called me. wanted to go my house and watch movie. okay. i was suppose to study today lah. went out the whole day yesterday. okay. nvm gonna study tonight and maybe tml.

still have that stupid english project. and tml chong and gang going swimming. [i want to go too! ]

and my mum scolded me cause my phone bill exploded.
netballers- ya'll should thank me for forwading and passing msges to ya'll. and next time when i say 'any quesitons, please ask ___[whoever] directly', i mean it!. not gonna help you ask anymore. cant afford my phone bill to explode anymore. so if you ask me any quesitons, i wont reply. alrights. sorry for the inconvience. xD. love ya=)

so what do you say?

Labels: love that shit