One of my greatest regret is that I didn't cherish you. You slipped away through my fingers. And it really sucks without you. Especially when I walk down the memory lane. You've yet to fulfill your promises. Some made more than one year ago. Remember when you said that you fear that you couldn't provide for me? Truth is, you can't. But I didn't mind. All because I loved you too much to care about all these. But when you kept making promises and couldn't deliver, I just felt they were empty promises. That's why i began to bug you. I wanted you to know that you shouldn't make promises when you know you can't deliver. But why do you still do it? Isit because you dont wanna let me down? You've done by making empty promises. Yet, you denied. You said you were gonna fulfill it. Said it all takes time. Really? Cause right now, I think it doesnt matter anymore. Just felt very cheated by you. Yet, right now, I still dont mind you doing that. Why? Because you're still on my mind. In my heart. I know this may never come true. All I want is a second chance with you. To make it an even better one. In my eyes, I still only see you. Although I've told some something else. I cant hide it. Some of my friends will kill me if they see this. But i couldn't care less. Why would I let myself hurt again cause of the same guy? Why can't I learn my lesson? Why can't I let go? Yet, it's not because I can't. But i wouldn't. Then why wouldn't I? I dont know. Why the hell am I still in Love with you? In love with someone whom I know can't provide for me? Whom I know I won't have a future with. Why the hell? Sucks really. Why did you have to be the first? I've told you so. You said to take that leap of faith with you. I did. It didn't work out. I TOLD YOU SO! Why did we rush into things? See now what I've done to our prefectly fine friendship. Our perfectly innocent friendship which turned out into a disaster in the end. The reason why I've said that I've should have said no was because I wanted you in my whole live. I know a relationship would destroy it. But why the hell did I let it happen? It sucks really. You have no idea how Im feeling right now. Especially when everything seems to crash down on me. Family; friends; you. You have no idea. Yet you want me to be okay within one day. Bullshit really. If I can do that. That means I dont treasure any of the relationships i have with anyone. You just dont understand. I just dont understand why too.

God, please help me. I really need to let go of the need to know why. Having faith is not as easy as you think it is. It's not. I struggle with it every single time. Cause every single time, i would try to take it into my hands.

Why must it be YOU!?

Labels: you